Power-reserve mode

You know, I think people as individuals have a number of things, annoyances if you will, that irritate them so much, they are forced to estrange themselves from whatever aggravates them so. Perhaps I have more than the average person, or perhaps I have less, who can say for sure? All I know absolutely, is that I encounter at least five of these annoyances every day here. And when these offenses, committed by a party that will remain unnamed, stack up enough times (as they most indubitably have), I find it impossible for myself not to shut down, to go away, to abandon them all to their own foolish trifles. It used to be that I shut myself away in my room, but while my room is temporarily occupied by a visitor who so foolishly placed herself in our midst, I am forced to find other means of escapement.

Until a few hours ago, that alternative reality was in the form of a particular computer game that, and those who know me will surely agree, appears to have the icy talons of addiction wrapped securely around me (hopefully I can explain exactly why this would appear so). It seems, however, that other people enjoy using the computer as well. I know, I was surprised too. First of all, they spend all of their time bickering that I was unaware they took pleasure in, or even knew how to do anything else. Second, no vocal representation of such desires ever reached my ears, and I assure you my headphones are not that securely placed in my head. I guess I am expected to be a mind-reading patriot to the cause of fixing a family that is quite unwilling to fix itself. As a side note, even if I could read minds, I would devoutly avoid directing such capabilities in the direction of any resident of this house. I fear the mental retardation some of them are burdened under would surely spread to myself.

So here I am, crouching in the corner of the remotest room that still receives internet connection, my so-called reign of tyranny over the iMac apparently over. I guess right now I'm debating the best course of action to take.

I could remain silent, like I always have. This accomplishes nothing, but leaves me in the convenient position of appearing neutral when, secretly, I despise most of them right now. I could adopt a harsh attitude of cynicism, which would, I'm afraid, only serve to further the distance between the already separated individuals of this shattered whole. I could become angry, which would get me temporary attention and affection, but would end in my father telling me to join the church and my brother telling me I will eventually commit suicide. In a nutshell, angry is out. I could be nice and affectionate and unconditionally loving to everyone, but I'm afraid I haven't the energy nor the motivation to help such stubborn-minded people who refuse to help themselves first. I could pick favorites and start a feud that would likely end in some predictably over-dramatic ending. Or maybe I could go play some more video games. That way I look like I'm being involved because I'm downstairs, but I can easily ignore all their bickering and sniveling and self-pity and their loathing and hating and ignorance and contemptuously immature mixture of irrationality and self-centered ideals (if they can even be called ideals). Sounds like a plan. I'll talk to you all later. ^_^

Cirque du Macabre

There is a place I once knew of
Down in the deep of the sewers
It is a house for the estranged
A vile little place to be born and raised

The people inside are all insane
Dancing around every which way
And to a tune most macabre
A waltz for their guests to prelude their death

Their song will entrance you
and their eyes will eat you alive
Their dance will enthrall you
and their lies will
bring
you
to
the
brink
of
insanity
and
then
push
you
over
the
edge.

So best be aware when you're near me
Lest a piece of me inside you I see
For then you will spend all eternity
In this sad house with no way out

Except for death itself.