Ugh...

Sometimes it feels good to let all your feelings out.. Sometimes it feels good to just cry it out.. All the stress, the anger, the self-pity, but most of all the regret. But lately I haven't been able to.. It's weird to imagine not being able to cry when you really feel like crying. It's even more upsetting than actually crying.

I just wish I could make myself stop feeling the way I do, and despite how embarrassing it might be, no matter how humiliating, and even how painful it can be sometimes, crying provides a temporary respite from reality. A temporary glimpse into an alternative world where everyone feels the way you do. A mirrored reflection of a truth forgotten; people care about you.

I know I should be happy, so many good things are happening right now. I am going to college in the fall, my brother is finally marrying his girlfriend, I just got my driver's license, I'm applying for my summer job... All these things are happening, and yet I can't help but feel upset.

It's not like it's because of any of these things in particular.. It's more the entire picture in combination with the stuff happening in my life. Well.. I think I've figured out what I want to call whatever my music will be grouped into; (be it a musical, an estranged album, or even some abstract collection of live performances) Unrequition.

I know it's not technically a word, but I think it should be. It's honestly the most applicable concept in my life right now, and it should be a word.